Have you ever thought about why it seems so important for you to not lose control of your lives? It is a fallacy to think life is controllable and calculable, but some people try to convince you that it is. The desire to control is based on different experiences. On one hand, it is triggered by fear and insecurity. You need something to hold on to. Wanting control comes from not being able to let go of something familiar because you are afraid it might change or disappear.

Structure is another aspect of control. People who are very structured in their thoughts and actions often fear they will lose control over themselves and others. They need a certain framework to feel secure. As soon as that framework collapses, they feel exposed and lack orientation.

Control also involves power. A person who has control dictates the direction for others. People who are afraid of making decisions look to others to tell them where to go in life. They often realize too late that they voluntarily surrendered control of themselves to someone else.