Many people want to know how to meet their soul mates or their twin flames with the idea of living in bliss, happily ever after. “Should I sign up for eHarmony.com? Should I date a lot of people?” Both questions are asked.

The answer is that if you try to “find” your perfect match with a concept in mind about who that is, you will create more difficulty than if you cultivate unconditional love and compassion for everyone and everything. We suggest that becoming unconditionally compassionate toward all the people in your life — no matter what their relationship is with you, no matter what their history is with you, and no matter what they’re doing in the moment — is not just a path of awareness but also the only strategy that can be of value in finding that life partner you desire. This life partner might already be in your life. You might already be married to this person. Or this person could be someone you have not yet met. The process is the same. Make no evaluations, be unconditional, and be in love with everyone and everything.

Recognize that it just isn’t going to work to send openhearted, compassionate, loving kindness toward one person because you determine they deserve it or that they need it or seem like a possible candidate as your soul mate. Whatever conditions you hold for one person simply limit your capacity to love anyone and everyone. To mete out your compassion, kindness, and unconditional love to others in percentages based on the judgments you hold of them, what you think they’ve done, who you think they are, or what you think they need has to become irrelevant. Your aspiration, if there is an aspiration, to be aware, be present, and be who you are can only come alive in a totally unconditional state.